The muffin man

sometimes i feel you rather not know..

"People are tactful and polite just because it's nice. They do it because they got an ounce of humility; because they know that they will make mistakes, and they know that their actions have consequences, and they know that those consequences are their fault"

 

- Moriarty

 

 

I think that sums up being human. ahhhh the stuff i learn from television!

 

 

Sometimes i feel my life is taken over by something i cannot control. Its a feeling a night when your alone and your mind starts to ponder. i really hate this feeling. i feel so small and hopeless that i cannot change. yet in the morning everything is as it is and the day begins. every night i tell myself tmr is a new day. and even though tmr is a new day. it is no different then the day before. i wish i can change the day before.. then tmr will definately be a brighter day.

 

tmr will not be a brighter day. but i know the day after will be...

 

"If you don't know where your going, any road will get you there". 

 

 i have come to accept that the one thing i hate in life is studying. I really hate studying.. and although studying is just an option in my life, i feel the only reason i force myself to go to uni is not because i want to learn and obtain a degree. Someone once said that studying is not to obtain knowledge... it is to obtain discipline. it teaches us to start and finish something. so if i give up now.. i am without discipline. *cries* must life be so cruel.

 

now, i must find motivation ... where did i put motivation ???

 

 

 

I wanted to write this blog in chinese but then i figured my dad will end up reading it and make fun of me (Yes my dad is so cool that he uses msn). But this morning i found out that my mum has been reading my msn conversations while im in the shower so this isn't so safe either.... LOL

 

My grandma left for taiwan this morning.. even though i don't talk to her all that much while she was here, i will miss her dearly. Its only when someone is gone that you think about how much they mean to you. She is forgetful sometimes but so cute in her own ways. At Tzu Chi's 40th anniversay yesterday Shi Bo gave her a 40th anniversary badge. When i got home, she said i should have 2 so i can wear them as earings hahaha (The pain!!!) From tmr on i won't have her there to tell me to eat breakfast, or try to fix my bedsheets while im still in bed, or clean my cups and plates with plain water without detergent, or load the water for me when i say i want to do the laundry, or take my laundry out in the sun when its about to rain, or telling me to eat lunch when i just finished breakfast half an hour ago  :) Its those little things that annoy me at the time but its also those little things that makes me think what a thoughtful caring grandmother she is.

 

Yesterday was mothers day and i was meant to write a letter to my mum as a mothers day present. I couldnt think of anything better to give her because i know deep down in her heart she just wants to see her children be sucessful,happy and healthy. My mother is the most wonderful and beautiful person i know. I still remember this one time when i got soooo drunk i was telling my friend how much of a wonderful mother i have.

 Anytime i say i liked to eat or something is nice she would keep buying it so i won't ever stock out of it at home. and when i complain how she keeps buying the same thing, she would say "i am a mother, i know what my children like, one day when your a mother, you'll understand".

 

Mum - i already understand and i love you very very very much. Happy mothers day!